Get Me Out of the Ball Pit


I’m not a well man.

Let me be absolutely clear: I have wonderful friends.  I have an incredible girlfriend who puts up with me for god knows why.  I literally have the best job in the entire world.  I have a roof overhead.  Bills are paid.  I got neat gadgets and machines that go “ping.”  I’m not ungrateful for any of that.  I know what I have.

But my brain is a rat’s nest.  Think something’s settled and things are fine?  Nope, tonight we’re gonna pick through the scars until we find one that bleeds.  Think you’re gonna go to sleep at a decent hour?  Nope, tonight we’re gonna play the awake game; we’ll sleep some time just before dawn.

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But some part of him realized, even as he fought to break free from Lupin, that Sirius had never kept him waiting before… . Sirius had risked everything, always, to see Harry, to help him… . If Sirius was not reappearing out of that archway when Harry was yelling for him as though his life depended on it, the only possible explanation was that he could not come back… . That he really was …